When Structures Crumble

It sure seems as if the world is coming apart at the seams these days. Structures - literal and figurative - which we are used to being there are failing. Some are being actively dismantled, some are unable to sustain themselves any more, some are outdated and are in desperate need of updating.

Regardless of the specific structure, or your level of reliance / identification with it, it is disconcerting, disorienting, and scary to watch things change so drastically so quickly.

There are those who will point to the wheel of change, saying that destruction is part of the cycle and that the old has to go in order for the new to be reborn. They will point to nature's cycles of death and rebirth, acknowledging that everything has its birth, life, decay, and death. I have been, and in many ways still am, among those pointing to this perspective.

While seeing that big picture is useful, it only serves to gently soften the harsh edges of our immediate reality. It can help alleviate total despair, as we can recognize that there is a newness coming, even if we can't see it.

But, the crumbling of institutions and ideas does still evoke anxiety and confusion. Who am I, if I am not protected by these institutions? What does this particular label even mean anymore?

One of the ways I have contextualized these massive changes that are underfoot is that we are being shaken out of looking outside of ourselves for stability and anchoring. The idea that a certain product, or job title, or relationship status, or celebrity, or politician, or spiritual guru, or institution, is going to provide The Answer to what ails us is what is truly falling. And this can be scary, but provides a tremendous opportunity.

For centuries, spiritual and philosophical guidance has said that the true journey is within. That our job is to cultivate our inner world, to know thyself, and that internally we have all the answers we will ever need. This redirect to our inner world is the medicine that befits the time most appropriately.

It is vital that we stop looking to outside people to tell us who we are, what to do, how to live our lives, what is acceptable and what is not, whether we are on our path or not. Only you know the truth of that. Of course, it is important to acknowledge that this same language can be used in a haughty way which is blatantly dismissive of feedback and refuses to self-reflect.

The path I am pointing to is not solid rigidity above reproach; it is one of self-curiosity, self-knowledge, and self-assuredness. It is one where we are willing to take in new information and then test it with our inner compass. If the information comes in and feels soulfully untrue, where we can respectfully and compassionately receive it and then move on with integrity, then perfect. If the information lands internally and we feel validated and seen, or even awkward or embarrassed, or prompts a childish reaction and rejection, that is something for us to look at within, because there is something for us to more deeply understand.

This is a nuanced journey, and it is one that can certainly be aided by the support of good friends, therapists, and other healers.

But when we can truly realize that our journey is only ours to walk, that no one can do our life for us, then we free ourselves to a huge pathway of self-discovery and empowerment. It is undoubtedly helpful to have embodied, human support, but know that others walk alongside you, not for you.

A healthy support, particularly one that is of a healer or guide, will guide you to yourself, and not say with authority that they have THE answer for you. That's impossible. They will only help you find the truth within.

"We are all just walking each other home." -Ram Das